Bambisana

Well, I have been in the country of South Africa for just over three weeks. I can hardly believe it! I have already had so many new experiences that have been great along with many new challenges as well.

The first week in South Africa I spent time in the area of Transkei in a village called Bambisana. Its about eight hours northeast of Jeffreys Bay. I was visiting some friends that are running a ministry there called Potters House Ministry. I stayed with a family in the village that I met for the first time when I arrived there. I for sure was a little nervous as I thought about staying in the village which I never had done before and also, with people I didn't know, but I knew I was in for a new experience.

From the moment I met the family I feel in love with them. I have never in my life been so welcomed somewhere. I was introduced to the TaTa (father) of the house, his daughters, and then the small children. They prepared a wonderful African meal for me and we sat around visiting and getting to know each other. Then the Father asked if I would share the Word/ encouragement. I was so surprised, but felt so honored that they wanted me to share with them. After sharing with them the Father stood up and wanted to share something with me. He didn't speak a lot of English so as someone translated for him, he shared how the LORD has given him six daughters, but today the LORD has blessed him with his seventh daughter. He continued to share with me how I am part of their family and how I should make myself at home, because I am now part of their family.
I was so overwhelmed and humbled as this man of God welcomed me into his home and truly took me in as his own daughter, though he had just met me. I realized yet again that as we are part of the body of Christ no matter where we go, we will have family, because we are one body. Also, I was reminded again of one of the reasons I love Africa so much. The hospitality is like nothing I have experienced before.

My time in Transkei was wonderful. I stayed in the village for five days and experienced what life is truly like there. They fetch the water at the river, boil water for bathing in a basin, use long- drops for toilets( similar to outhouses) and live life with such simplicity, but yet such contentment and joy. Along with the joys also came the challenges, as the area of Transkei is predominately black, I was very out of place. In the village of Bambisana, I was the only white person, and though every eye seemed to take a second glance at me, I knew that I could use this to my advantage for the kingdom. I could respond negatively and be frustrated or I could use the attention I was getting and use it to show the love of God. My prayer as I was there breaking the cultural norm, was that somehow the Holy Spirit would work in the people of Bambisana the deep love our Father has for ALL people. That these beautiful people would know that rather Xhosa or American we are dearly loved by Jesus Christ.
My time in Bambisana grew my love for the Xhosa people and their genuine, open hearts and their joy for life. The scripture that God has put on my heart so much the past weeks and during my time in Bambisana was-

1 Corinthians 9:19-23(ESV)

"For though I am free from all, I have made myself a servant to all, that I might win more of them. To the Jews I became as a Jew, in order to win Jews. To those under the law I became as one under the law (though not being myself under the law) that I might win those under the law. To those outside the law I became as one outside the law (not being outside the law of God but under the law of Christ) that I might win those outside the law. To the weak I became weak, that I might win the weak. I have become all things to all people, that by all means I might save some. I do it all for the sake of the gospel, that I may share with them in its blessings."

My hearts desire is for everyone to know the love of Jesus. Anything for one more soul. No matter the cost. No matter how uncomfortable and unfamiliar. Anything for one more precious soul to know the abounding grace and mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ.


*Though this is only about my first week in South Africa, I will be writing and updating you all next week about my time so far serving with LXP in Jeffreys Bay.
More to come soon!*

The cost..

I woke up yesterday feeling the battle immediately as I opened my eyes to the sun welcoming me into the new day- May 10th the anxiously and long awaited day. I could feel my heart battling with what lay before me. Today I would step on a plane to fly thousands of miles away from my biological family. I would experience the tearful goodbye's and the deep ache in my heart with the fact that I don't know the next time I'll see them face to face again.
But I would also be taking one step closer to the beautiful South African people that hold a huge piece of my heart.

The cost of following Jesus. Have you felt it? Do you know it?
Does your heart and spirit resonate with the scripture in Luke 14: 26-27, 33(ESV)

“If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple. Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple.
So therefore, any one of you who does not renounce all that he has cannot be my disciple."

The cost of discipleship.
Do you know it?
Have you felt it?

I have wrestled with these scriptures for more then a year, starting when I first left last February to join LXP in Jeffreys Bay, South Africa. It was no longer just a scripture that I had heard before, or that I thought didn't apply to me- it was my life and what I was experiencing.
I use to read this scripture and think, "Well, Jesus doesn't mean we are really suppose to hate our families, after all He says 'Love your neighbor as yourself."

And that is true, we are to love others just as Christ loved us by laying His life down on the cross at Calvary.
But what does that look like? Could it actually mean that when we forsake our desires, the things of this world, even the good things like family and friends that, that is when we begin to love others. After all, how can we love others if we first don't love God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength. Jesus lists the family members-father, mother, wife, children, brother or sisters, and then yes, even his own life- he cannot be my disciple.

I struggled with this scripture because I love my family and am very close to them. God has given me a great family that loves Jesus and truly cares for each other. So what did Jesus really mean when He said I am suppose to hate them?

I didn't begin to understand until my time in Africa last year as I saw that I could still live in Africa and not truly be a disciple of Christ, forsaking everything. It's not only a physical action, but also an attitude of the heart.
Jesus didn't want me to literally hate my family and leave them saying, "Have a nice life, I am going to be a disciple of Jesus."
He was saying, "Ellen, I want you to forsake your family, friends and life to find real life. Exchange your life for mine. When you do this you are becoming my disciple, you are putting on Myself (Jesus Christ) and are dying to yourself. That is when you actually love your family, because it's not on your own effort anymore, its me through you."
That is when people will be drawn to Jesus Christ- when our lives become a picture of the gospel. when people can see the bible lived out in our lives every day.

I have had people say to me, "I could never do what you are doing, I am a Daddy's girl or I love my family to much to live that far away."

My flesh wants to scream out, "don't you think I love my family!"
But then I realize this is exactly what Jesus is talking about. If our love for our families are holding us back from being obedient to the call of discipleship- it is sin. Jesus wants us to be completely devoted and abandoned to the call He has given each one of us.

You might think, "well He's not called me to go to Africa."
And that might be true, but He has called you to something. He calls us all different places, but the call is the same- GO MAKE DISCIPLES.
Matthew 28:18-20(NIV)

"Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

He says go train and teach people to give up their lives to follow me and that is taught through not just words, bur your life.

We have no excuses anymore. The cost is high. But it's worth it.

Every tear. Every ache and pain.

Every uncomfortable moment.

It's worth it.

The journey continues!

Dear sweet prayer warriors and brother and sisters in Christ

It's early Tuesday morning and I am getting ready to go! I will be getting on a plane this morning to South Africa to start what God has for me over there!

Please join me in prayer as I travel- pray for strength and health as I travel

Pray for all the connections and that my baggage will arrive with me :)
I will be visiting people for the first week and then will start ministry.
I will update you all when I arrive!
Much love and a deep thank you for all who are taking this journey with me.

Is it that simple?

Do we really trust God? Its become an easy thing to quickly utter or encourage someone with. But do we really believe in what He says? Do we take His word as the truth we build our entire lives on? These are the questions I've asked myself this past year during my time in South Africa and now coming back to the states.

Trust: to place one's confidence in; to hope; that which has been entrusted

Believe: to trust in; to hold a firm conviction about

I love those defintions. They hold such meaning and hold an incredible amount of depth that can change our lifes if we really act on them.

For many people it's hard to trust-maybe you are on of them. You've been mistreated, abused and placed your trust in someone only to be hurt, so you make a decision not to trust again. I speak from my own life and I was one of those people.

During part of my high school years I was emotionally abused by someone that was highly respected and trusted by people, including myself. As it all began to fall apart- my walls came up very quicly. My first instint was to be protective of myself and not let people in. I was afraid of being hurt again or worse rejected. During a period of being angry, hurt and very closed- the Holy Spirit kept drawing me closer to Himself. I was at the point I didn't trust God at all. After all, why would He let me go through such hurt and pain if He really cared I told myself.
But Jesus never waivered. He wasn't afraid of my questions or my anger. He wanted me just as I was. He began to draw me closer and closer to Himself. I still had lots of questions and things I didn't understand, but when I let my guard down and let Jesus in and hold me close, somehow those things all faded. I realized I needed only one thing- to be in His presence and in His arms, gazing into His face. In His presence He began to heal my wounded heart and I learned I could trust Him. He began to teach me that He is worthy of all trust and belief.

Now years later as I look back on my journey with Jesus, I can only trust Him.
He has never been anything, but faithful. In times I thought I was alone, He has been there holding me. I have been tested again this past month with my trust in Him. Since high school my life has been full of goodbyes, new friendships and a lot of letting go. In each of these situations and new chapters I have had to trust Jesus.

When I leave my family to go to Africa, I have to trust Jesus that He will continue and complete the good work He has started. When I left South Africa I had to trust my sweet Father that He was going to take care of my kids on the street and the youth in their broken homes. If I didn't trust Him, where would I be?
When I don't trust Him I am saying, "Jesus, I have things under control, I can do this better myself."
Jesus knows us so intimately. Like no one else knows us.

1 You have searched me, LORD,
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
you, LORD, know it completely. - Psalm 139

The more time I spend with Jesus the more I trust Him. I believe the more you know Jesus- His character, His unfailing love, you will know Jesus is for you- He is not against you. No matter how much you've been hurt, no matter how many people have abused your trust- He will never hurt you. He will never abuse your trust.

There was a deep relase in my spirit when I realized I couldn't do it anymore. When I realized without Him I was completely lost.
And this only makes sense, that the Creator of our bodies, minds, souls and spirits can be fully and completely trusted.
When we choose to trust Him- we will begin to change. The circumstances or problems around us might not change- but He will change us. We will be people who trust Jesus, worry less and keep their eyes on His face.

Provers 3:5-6
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight."

I choose to trust Him. I choose to believe that He works everything out for my good.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28


"Blessed is the one who trusts in you."- Psalm 84:12b

Its ALL about HIM.

I've done a lot of thinking and praying really asking myself why I have a blog and what are my motives. It is so easy as humans to start to do something with a purwe heart and then realize our motives have become prideful or selfish. I share this with you because I truly want this blogs purpose to be, to bring glory to who it is due-our Sweet King Jesus. I never want this to be about me. If this is about me its utterly worthless. God says in Isaiah 64:6-

"that all our righteous acts are like flithly rags and we are all shrivel up like a leaf."

So as I share with you in this blog what GOD is doing in my life and in the lives of the people around me I promise to be open and real with you. I won't pretend to have it all together or have all the answers, but I will share with you what GOD is teaching and saying to me.

My prayer is that the things He teaches me, and the lessons I learn and the experiences that HE takes me through you will know Jesus' heart more and experience more of who He is.

Respect

respect: to give honor to; to show high regard for

"Show proper respect to everyone."- 1 Peter 2:17

Since being back in the States I have gotten the question a lot:
"what did you learn in Africa?"

Most the time that question overwhelms me, because I have no idea where to begin. But today I realized something that has become a huge part of my life that I know was instilled in me during my two years living in Africa. -RESPECT.

The African people respect like no one's business. I could say they put us to shame. When I first got there I realized how much I disrespected people without even being aware of it. I began to learn what respect looked like. I did make a lot of mistakes, but slowly learned.
I learned that you never call a Mother by her first name you call her MaMa and then her name.
I learned you called a Father TaTa and then his name.
I learned you never call a young man by his first name- you say Mboti.
At first these things were hard to remember and get use to, but as they became part of my life I realized how much I began to really respect people.

I started looking at Mothers and Fathers differently, they were no longer people that were just older then me, they were people I needed to respect.

The definition of respect is: to give honor to or show high regard for. And in 1 Peter, Peter commands us to respect everyone. Not just the elderly, and our parents. But EVERYONE.
Recently, my heart was completely broken as I saw a grown woman with children completely disrespect her elderly Mother that has raised her and loved her and now her grandchildren as well.
My memory was quickly taken back to a day in October in Jeffreys Bay when I entered the shack of a family my team and I were ministering to. I KNEW that the first thing I was to do was to greet the Gogo( the Grandmother) in the house, then the Mother and finally the children. This to me is so biblical.

"Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you."- Exodus 20:12

"Give proper recognition to those widows who are really in need. But if a widow has children or grandchildren, these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God." 1 Timothy 5 :3-4

We cant deny it. God's word says it. Do you notice in the commandment to honor your parents it ends with a promise. That is so powerful. God says when we show honor and respect, He will also honor us. The God of the universe promises to honor us!

One of the most important things for me to learn in South Africa was their way of greeting. When you enter a home, wake up in the morning, or see a person for the first time that day you greet them. Rather that be a hand shake, a hug or simply asking how they are. At first most definitely I offended a lot of people, because this had never been my way of life. Again as I slowly remembered this new way and it became a normal part of my life, the Holy Spirit really spoke to me about how powerful this small act is.

The acknowledgement of someone is so powerful. To acknowledge their presence and that you see them, can speak volumes to a wounded and lonely spirit. I can think back to many times in my life when I simply wanted someone to notice me or ask me how I was doing. I think that is why it became one of my favorite things to do. Especially in the mornings I remember in the LXP house- greeting my sisters with a warm hug and asking how they slept.
But isn't this what the Lord does? We are never out of his mind.
In Psalm 139 the whole chapter speaks about how God knows us inside and out and knows our every move, and thought.

I write this as a challenge to you. Start respecting like you never have. And watch how God will work not only in your life, but in the lives of the people in your life. They may think its strange at first, but that's okay. Just press on.

Remember the LORD's command: "Show proper respect to EVERYONE."

Now go watch how Jesus will work.

Great is Your faithfulness

“The Lord is faithful to all His promises and loving toward all He has made.” Psalm143:13
“He is faithful in all He does.” Psalm 33:4

I stand victorious through the precious blood of my Savior Jesus Christ. Who has won the battle and defeated the power of the enemy in my life.
Nine months ago I was preparing to leave for my journey back to Jbay for my new experience in LXP. So unsure of what laid ahead of me and with so many expectations of what God wanted to do in my life. I can stand here nine months later at the end of my year in LXP and say far above what I accepted God to do has happened in my life.

“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.”
Ephesians 3:20

I’ve been spending the last weeks processing and reflecting on what God has done in me and I see how quickly I’ve forgotten the places God took me from and how He has brought so much freedom into my life. He has taken me from a place of insecurity and little confidence to a place of being a confident leader and the woman God had intended me to be all along.

This experience has changed my life completely. I’ve been challenged like never before and taken out of my comfort zone almost on a daily basis. I looked back to my prayer list before I came to LXP and one of the things I was praying was that God would take me out of my comfort zone every day. Well, He did just that!


I’ve been changed in my leadership ability. When I came to LXP and had to lead a small group of teen I was terrified and so unsure, but now I can confidently and comfortably lead a small group of many ages and backgrounds. It has definitely been, because of all the experiences and the weekly youth program we held every Thursday afternoon.

I learned how to disciple a person and really walk with them through the ups and downs of life. During this year I discipled two girls every week, it was so amazing to see the change in them and where God took them from to where they are at now. One of the girls after months of praying for her just gave her life to Christ two weeks ago. I truly believe this year after discipling that the first step is discipleship and then during this time they are given the choice to accept Christ and they really learn what it means to follow Christ. As this girl and I spoke on the beach on Saturday afternoon the time was so powerful as she declared she wanted to give up her heart of stone and receive the heart of flesh that Jesus awaits to give us. At that moment the Holy Spirit gave me this. I told her to go where the sand and water meet and write every sin she needed to ask for forgiveness and the things she needed to surrender to Jesus. It was such a beautiful picture of what God does for us every day as He completely removes our sin. I praise the LORD for what He had done in the life of this sweet girl.


During the year the Lord has places so many different people in my path to walk, pray for and just encourage and speak life into. One of those is Jonathan. From my previous post most of you know Jonathan. He is a boy that has completely captured my heart like very few children. The past two months it’s been a journey that I wouldn’t trade for anything. It has been one of the most difficult journeys I have walked with anyone. One with many tears, questions, doubts, and unknowns. But through this I have been learning so much about the heart of my Heavenly Father and also about myself. I will speak more about Jonathan and his story in a later post.


In LXP my prayer life has changed so much. I remember in coming to LXP and Tuesday’s were our days of corporate fasting. We would meet during the lunch hour to prayer; I remember thinking to myself how can I pray for an hour? The first two weeks were difficult, but as I continued I began to grow in my hunger for prayer and talking to my Father. An hour became not enough!
I’ve seen God’s power in ways I’ve dreamt and read about in the bible come and be part of my life and my LXP family. One of those times was when two of my teammates and me went to visit a family and we began to pray for woman there that was sobbing uncontrollably. As we continued praying demons started manifesting in her and after some time praying for her the demons were cast out in Jesus name. I truly experienced the power of God has He used my mortal body where His Holy Spirit resides to cast the demons out of this woman. I can’t even say I prayed for her, cause it was not I that was praying-but the Holy Spirit through me. This should be the normal! In Mark 16:17-18 it says;

"And these signs will accompany those who believe: In my name they will drive out demons; they will speak in new tongues; 18 they will pick up snakes with their hands; and when they drink deadly poison, it will not hurt them at all; they will place their hands on sick people, and they will get well.”

The power of God is real and manifests through the Holy Spirit in us. If only we let Him has His way in our life and walk in in obedience to His Spirit.


I’ve been stretched to live in a house full of people from a different culture and language then me. I can stand here and say it’s made me a stronger and better person. Like it says in James chapter one; consider it pure joy when you face trials, because it develops perservance. The first couple months for those who walk closely beside me know that I was ready to catch the next flight home. I felt alone, like the alien, but I know that God had called me here to LXP and I could not go home and is obey His call. I truly felt the reality of paying the cost to be a disciple of Jesus.
When He says;

“Anyone of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple.” Luke 14:33

Jesus truly became my Rock, My Fortress and my Stronghold.

Psalm 62
5 Yes, my soul, find rest in God;
my hope comes from him.
6 Truly he is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
7 My salvation and my honor depend on God;
he is my mighty rock, my refuge.
8 Trust in him at all times, you people;
pour out your hearts to him,
for God is our refuge.


This became my daily prayer over my life. Before I left for Africa the Lord has promised me that when I felt alone or insecure I would find everything I needed in His presence and that was a promise fulfilled.


One of my mentors here in Africa told me before I came to LXP that after this year I would know if I really love Africa. Because this year was 100% different then my previous year coming with Americans-still in my comfort zone of culture, language and mindset. But now I was being placed in a setting so unknown to me with all Africans. This was the promise God gave me in
Isaiah 41:9-10

9 I took you from the ends of the earth,
from its farthest corners I called you.
I said, ‘You are my servant’;
I have chosen you and have not rejected you.
10 So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand

To answer her question; Yes, I STILL love Africa. And God has continued to confirm my call for this continent. People often ask me aren’t you scared to live in Africa and leave your family, friends and home behind. My answer is; “it’s not easy, I miss my family and friends so much every day, but over the past two years of my life I’ve come to know the heart of my Jesus much more intimately. I know that He only has me do what is the best for His kingdom and the life He has given me. He calls me to the end of the earth, because He knows that is what He has made me to do. The Creator of the heavens and the earth also made me and know what I was created for.

The call is great and the cost is high, but the promises of our faithful God are endless. Every time I was faced with doubt, the unknown, fear, anxiety and homesickness there was a promise awaiting me in His word.

“God is not human, that he should lie,
not a human being, that he should change his mind.
Does he speak and then not act?
Does he promise and not fulfill?
I have received a command to bless;
he has blessed, and I cannot change it.”

Numbers 23:19

It’s difficult to put into words and write exactly what my time in LXP was like, but this is just a small taste of what God did in my life and I pray it encourages you.


Thank you to each and every one of you my dear brothers and sister for you support this year as I journeyed in LXP. I can see the hand of God working so mightily as I there was days I was weak and in need of prayer and I would receive a phone call or an email from one of you at just the right time. Or times when finances were low and God would put on someone’s heart to give just the right amount that I was needing. Thank you for being obedient to the promptings of the Spirit and blessing me. I really could not do this journey without each and every one of your prayers and financial support. I praise the Lord for you and I pray His blessing over you as you have been such a blessing to me.


I will be arriving home on Christmas day. Until then I am visiting some friends in different parts of South Africa and then taking a two week missions trip to India. Please be in prayer for me as I go and work in the orphanages and the children.
I appreciate each and every one of you and look forward to seeing you next month!

Until then, may His blessing rest upon you.

Much love from South Africa