Do we really trust God? Its become an easy thing to quickly utter or encourage someone with. But do we really believe in what He says? Do we take His word as the truth we build our entire lives on? These are the questions I've asked myself this past year during my time in South Africa and now coming back to the states.
Trust: to place one's confidence in; to hope; that which has been entrusted
Believe: to trust in; to hold a firm conviction about
I love those defintions. They hold such meaning and hold an incredible amount of depth that can change our lifes if we really act on them.
For many people it's hard to trust-maybe you are on of them. You've been mistreated, abused and placed your trust in someone only to be hurt, so you make a decision not to trust again. I speak from my own life and I was one of those people.
During part of my high school years I was emotionally abused by someone that was highly respected and trusted by people, including myself. As it all began to fall apart- my walls came up very quicly. My first instint was to be protective of myself and not let people in. I was afraid of being hurt again or worse rejected. During a period of being angry, hurt and very closed- the Holy Spirit kept drawing me closer to Himself. I was at the point I didn't trust God at all. After all, why would He let me go through such hurt and pain if He really cared I told myself.
But Jesus never waivered. He wasn't afraid of my questions or my anger. He wanted me just as I was. He began to draw me closer and closer to Himself. I still had lots of questions and things I didn't understand, but when I let my guard down and let Jesus in and hold me close, somehow those things all faded. I realized I needed only one thing- to be in His presence and in His arms, gazing into His face. In His presence He began to heal my wounded heart and I learned I could trust Him. He began to teach me that He is worthy of all trust and belief.
Now years later as I look back on my journey with Jesus, I can only trust Him.
He has never been anything, but faithful. In times I thought I was alone, He has been there holding me. I have been tested again this past month with my trust in Him. Since high school my life has been full of goodbyes, new friendships and a lot of letting go. In each of these situations and new chapters I have had to trust Jesus.
When I leave my family to go to Africa, I have to trust Jesus that He will continue and complete the good work He has started. When I left South Africa I had to trust my sweet Father that He was going to take care of my kids on the street and the youth in their broken homes. If I didn't trust Him, where would I be?
When I don't trust Him I am saying, "Jesus, I have things under control, I can do this better myself."
Jesus knows us so intimately. Like no one else knows us.
1 You have searched me, LORD,
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
you, LORD, know it completely. - Psalm 139
The more time I spend with Jesus the more I trust Him. I believe the more you know Jesus- His character, His unfailing love, you will know Jesus is for you- He is not against you. No matter how much you've been hurt, no matter how many people have abused your trust- He will never hurt you. He will never abuse your trust.
There was a deep relase in my spirit when I realized I couldn't do it anymore. When I realized without Him I was completely lost.
And this only makes sense, that the Creator of our bodies, minds, souls and spirits can be fully and completely trusted.
When we choose to trust Him- we will begin to change. The circumstances or problems around us might not change- but He will change us. We will be people who trust Jesus, worry less and keep their eyes on His face.
Provers 3:5-6
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight."
I choose to trust Him. I choose to believe that He works everything out for my good.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28
"Blessed is the one who trusts in you."- Psalm 84:12b
