Great is Your faithfulness

“The Lord is faithful to all His promises and loving toward all He has made.” Psalm143:13
“He is faithful in all He does.” Psalm 33:4

I stand victorious through the precious blood of my Savior Jesus Christ. Who has won the battle and defeated the power of the enemy in my life.
Nine months ago I was preparing to leave for my journey back to Jbay for my new experience in LXP. So unsure of what laid ahead of me and with so many expectations of what God wanted to do in my life. I can stand here nine months later at the end of my year in LXP and say far above what I accepted God to do has happened in my life.

“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.”
Ephesians 3:20

I’ve been spending the last weeks processing and reflecting on what God has done in me and I see how quickly I’ve forgotten the places God took me from and how He has brought so much freedom into my life. He has taken me from a place of insecurity and little confidence to a place of being a confident leader and the woman God had intended me to be all along.

This experience has changed my life completely. I’ve been challenged like never before and taken out of my comfort zone almost on a daily basis. I looked back to my prayer list before I came to LXP and one of the things I was praying was that God would take me out of my comfort zone every day. Well, He did just that!


I’ve been changed in my leadership ability. When I came to LXP and had to lead a small group of teen I was terrified and so unsure, but now I can confidently and comfortably lead a small group of many ages and backgrounds. It has definitely been, because of all the experiences and the weekly youth program we held every Thursday afternoon.

I learned how to disciple a person and really walk with them through the ups and downs of life. During this year I discipled two girls every week, it was so amazing to see the change in them and where God took them from to where they are at now. One of the girls after months of praying for her just gave her life to Christ two weeks ago. I truly believe this year after discipling that the first step is discipleship and then during this time they are given the choice to accept Christ and they really learn what it means to follow Christ. As this girl and I spoke on the beach on Saturday afternoon the time was so powerful as she declared she wanted to give up her heart of stone and receive the heart of flesh that Jesus awaits to give us. At that moment the Holy Spirit gave me this. I told her to go where the sand and water meet and write every sin she needed to ask for forgiveness and the things she needed to surrender to Jesus. It was such a beautiful picture of what God does for us every day as He completely removes our sin. I praise the LORD for what He had done in the life of this sweet girl.


During the year the Lord has places so many different people in my path to walk, pray for and just encourage and speak life into. One of those is Jonathan. From my previous post most of you know Jonathan. He is a boy that has completely captured my heart like very few children. The past two months it’s been a journey that I wouldn’t trade for anything. It has been one of the most difficult journeys I have walked with anyone. One with many tears, questions, doubts, and unknowns. But through this I have been learning so much about the heart of my Heavenly Father and also about myself. I will speak more about Jonathan and his story in a later post.


In LXP my prayer life has changed so much. I remember in coming to LXP and Tuesday’s were our days of corporate fasting. We would meet during the lunch hour to prayer; I remember thinking to myself how can I pray for an hour? The first two weeks were difficult, but as I continued I began to grow in my hunger for prayer and talking to my Father. An hour became not enough!
I’ve seen God’s power in ways I’ve dreamt and read about in the bible come and be part of my life and my LXP family. One of those times was when two of my teammates and me went to visit a family and we began to pray for woman there that was sobbing uncontrollably. As we continued praying demons started manifesting in her and after some time praying for her the demons were cast out in Jesus name. I truly experienced the power of God has He used my mortal body where His Holy Spirit resides to cast the demons out of this woman. I can’t even say I prayed for her, cause it was not I that was praying-but the Holy Spirit through me. This should be the normal! In Mark 16:17-18 it says;

"And these signs will accompany those who believe: In my name they will drive out demons; they will speak in new tongues; 18 they will pick up snakes with their hands; and when they drink deadly poison, it will not hurt them at all; they will place their hands on sick people, and they will get well.”

The power of God is real and manifests through the Holy Spirit in us. If only we let Him has His way in our life and walk in in obedience to His Spirit.


I’ve been stretched to live in a house full of people from a different culture and language then me. I can stand here and say it’s made me a stronger and better person. Like it says in James chapter one; consider it pure joy when you face trials, because it develops perservance. The first couple months for those who walk closely beside me know that I was ready to catch the next flight home. I felt alone, like the alien, but I know that God had called me here to LXP and I could not go home and is obey His call. I truly felt the reality of paying the cost to be a disciple of Jesus.
When He says;

“Anyone of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple.” Luke 14:33

Jesus truly became my Rock, My Fortress and my Stronghold.

Psalm 62
5 Yes, my soul, find rest in God;
my hope comes from him.
6 Truly he is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
7 My salvation and my honor depend on God;
he is my mighty rock, my refuge.
8 Trust in him at all times, you people;
pour out your hearts to him,
for God is our refuge.


This became my daily prayer over my life. Before I left for Africa the Lord has promised me that when I felt alone or insecure I would find everything I needed in His presence and that was a promise fulfilled.


One of my mentors here in Africa told me before I came to LXP that after this year I would know if I really love Africa. Because this year was 100% different then my previous year coming with Americans-still in my comfort zone of culture, language and mindset. But now I was being placed in a setting so unknown to me with all Africans. This was the promise God gave me in
Isaiah 41:9-10

9 I took you from the ends of the earth,
from its farthest corners I called you.
I said, ‘You are my servant’;
I have chosen you and have not rejected you.
10 So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand

To answer her question; Yes, I STILL love Africa. And God has continued to confirm my call for this continent. People often ask me aren’t you scared to live in Africa and leave your family, friends and home behind. My answer is; “it’s not easy, I miss my family and friends so much every day, but over the past two years of my life I’ve come to know the heart of my Jesus much more intimately. I know that He only has me do what is the best for His kingdom and the life He has given me. He calls me to the end of the earth, because He knows that is what He has made me to do. The Creator of the heavens and the earth also made me and know what I was created for.

The call is great and the cost is high, but the promises of our faithful God are endless. Every time I was faced with doubt, the unknown, fear, anxiety and homesickness there was a promise awaiting me in His word.

“God is not human, that he should lie,
not a human being, that he should change his mind.
Does he speak and then not act?
Does he promise and not fulfill?
I have received a command to bless;
he has blessed, and I cannot change it.”

Numbers 23:19

It’s difficult to put into words and write exactly what my time in LXP was like, but this is just a small taste of what God did in my life and I pray it encourages you.


Thank you to each and every one of you my dear brothers and sister for you support this year as I journeyed in LXP. I can see the hand of God working so mightily as I there was days I was weak and in need of prayer and I would receive a phone call or an email from one of you at just the right time. Or times when finances were low and God would put on someone’s heart to give just the right amount that I was needing. Thank you for being obedient to the promptings of the Spirit and blessing me. I really could not do this journey without each and every one of your prayers and financial support. I praise the Lord for you and I pray His blessing over you as you have been such a blessing to me.


I will be arriving home on Christmas day. Until then I am visiting some friends in different parts of South Africa and then taking a two week missions trip to India. Please be in prayer for me as I go and work in the orphanages and the children.
I appreciate each and every one of you and look forward to seeing you next month!

Until then, may His blessing rest upon you.

Much love from South Africa

Jonathan

I will never forget his eyes. I will never forget how he hung onto me, like a lost boy. I won’t forget how he looked at me, his face full of pain and his years of memories of his experiences flashed across his eyes as I asked him why he quit going to school.
He pretends to be so hard and rough- it’s his protection. But inside is a little boy so in need of a family, someone to love and take care of him. A 13 year old boy’s need shouldn’t be someone to take care for him. He shouldn’t be longing to go to school and be part of a family- those are the normal things he should have already.

At times he pretends not to hear, but I know he hears every word. He’ll ignore a question and ask for food, a defense mechanism to keep him from talking about the all the pain in his life, not excluding the hunger pain he feels regularly. He tells me he stays with his uncle at times, but other nights its better on the street with his friends. At home he’s beaten and left with no food, the streets are safer and he can beg for food. I can hear the anger in his voice as he says his uncle is always drinking and will beat him for no reason. His father and mother have both died, he says he doesn’t have a last name his name is Jonathan- that’s it.


A couple weeks ago some of my teammates and me were given a week project to work with the streets kids- to minister and give them food. That was three weeks ago, but my heart has been heavily burdened ever since then. Even though I have lived in Jbay for almost 2 years now, my heart was not broken over the street boys. I felt like “what can I do? How can I minister, I have nothing in common with them.” The Holy Spirit completely broke me from that attitude and mindset and one day totally broke my heart for these boys. He spoke so strongly to me that if my heart is not broken for these boys I will never minister or love them like Jesus does. Since that day things have been completely different inside of me. There is about 15 boys between the ages of 10-20 that live on the street in Jeffreys Bay. Some of them have homes, but have ran away cause of the situations at homes, others are orphans that have no one to take care and love them.


The one boy that the Holy Spirit laid and burdened my heart for was Jonathan. I have been interceding and praying for him every day asking God for a relationship with him. Whenever I would see him in town sitting on the street corner I would go and sit with him. He was always quiet and serious, never smiling and often high from glue. He would only greet and then was silent. I would ask questions and try to make conversation, but he would only look straight ahead. The Holy Spirit told me to stay. So this would happen frequently, I would sit with Jonathan in complete silence. I prayed that through his act he would know how much not only I love him, but more importantly Jesus Christ.


I try to keep the tears from spilling onto my cheeks as I sit on the porch outside my house with Jonathan- eating bread and talking. This is the moment I have been asking and pleading with God for. Jonathan came to my house looking for me- a complete miracle!
As we continue to talk, my hearts breaks even more, he doesn’t know his last name. He belongs to no one. After a while I tell him I’ll walk with him to the beach to meet the other boys, but he refuses. Its warm here on the porch and safe- the weather is getting colder and more windy- he doesn’t want to go. As he watches the acticvity at the house and all the different people talking and having fun- I can see in his eyes the longing for a family, a home, a place to belong and be safe and warm.

I wish it was that easy, that I could have him live with me and give him everything he needs- but for right now I now that’s not possible.
Eventually he agrees and we walk towards the beach. I promise him I’ll go meet his uncle later this week to see where he’s staying. As I say goodbye I ask if I can pray for him and for the first time is face lights up just a little and he agrees, taking my hand in his. After praying he puts his arm around me- I try to once again keep the tears back, as I feel the arm of a little boy that hasn’t had a hug for probably weeks or even months give me a hug and then walk away. Many people would say don’t let a street boy touch or get close to you, it’s not safe, they are bad. But as I was with Jonathan my mind was constantly on the life and ministry of Jesus. He was with the sick, poor and ”bad” people all the time. That was his life- his heart was with them. He touched them and healed them in their need.


As I walked away the tears flowed freely from my eyes, if my heart was not broken before it was now. I thanked Jesus that He was giving me the privilege of feeling a little bit of His heart. My spirit wrestled in prayer and was earnestly before God that evening, as it continues to ask God what He wants me to do. I pray I will walk in complete obedience to the Holy Spirit and what He wants me to do.

Please pray that I would be granted discerment, wisdom and love above all.
Pray for Jonathan that the Holy Spirit would deeply touch his heart and life.

Confirmation

Rape. Yet hope.
HIV/AIDS. Yet hope.
Poverty. Yet hope.
Abuse. Yet hope
Orphaned. And yet hope.

Transkai a place very few people know or hear about unless you live in South Africa. It is the heart of the Xhosa culture and a place of deep traditions. Villages, rural areas, busy towns, women carrying 10 gallon buckets on their heads to fetch water, the students walking miles to school, dirt roads, cows, sheep and donkeys crossing the road and backing up the traffic. This is the place I spent a week doing the Beat The Drum project, in the town of Lusikiski in the Transkai area of South Africa.

Lusikiski is completely different then my town of Jeffreys Bay. Jbay is a surf town. A hot vacation spot, but still filled with poverty. The white on one side, the coloreds in another place, and the blacks on the other side. There is a McDonald's, a mall, nice restaurants, a beautiful beach and big supermarkets. Life here is pretty comfortable. The locations (where the coloreds and blacks live) are poor. Shacks use to be everywhere, but now the government is building houses for a lot of the South African citizens.

In every way I have explained Jbay, Lusikiski is the opposite. A white face is rarely seen among the people there. The town is crazy, the traffic out of control with what seems to be no traffic laws enforced. People fill the streets selling meat, veg, fruit, and many other things.

As I walk through the town with some of my friends, I see a man almost in rags carrying all his belongings, then there is another man that has been severely burned. He approaches my friend Mnoza asking for money, instead of answering his question, Mnoza starts asking him questions about himself and be interested in him. The man shares his story that there was a fire that killed his whole family except him. Now, he can't work because of how the fire destroyed his hands and now has no way to support himself. Mnoza encouraged him and also prayed with him. As we walked away I tried to somehow imagine the pain this man experiences every day, as I am processing what has just happened, I see a little 2 year old boy sitting on the side of the street all dirty and alone with no one caring or for him. As we arrived back at our place I wanted to sit down, pray and cry for what I had seen and experienced. During my experience in the town, God really spoke to my heart that this is the life He has called me to. It wasn't easy being the only white person and having everyone stare at me. But God has called me to an uncomfortable life of taking up my cross daily and following Him where ever He leads me, even leaving Jbay where I have made my home for the past two years.

In June during my holiday time I stayed with one of my teammates Khanyo in her community among the Xhosa people. During my time there God really gave me more of a love and a passion for the Xhosa people. I use to think I would leave South Africa and go into East Africa, but this year God has really changed my heart and shown me my season here in South Africa is not finished. My vision and dream has always been to work with the orphans, prostitutes and the least of these in the villages and God has continually been confirming that these past months. I thank God He took me to Lusikiski to confirm what He has already been telling me. I am not sure of my plans next year, but I ask you to join me in prayer as I seek what God has for me either in Lusikiski or somewhere else in South Africa.

I do not lean on my own understanding, but trust God that when I place my trust in Him, He will lead and guide me in His ways.

Entertaining Angels

"Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it." Hebrews 13:2


I see him often. Sometimes sitting alone, sometimes sniffing glue to get high, or other times with the other street boys. But rarely with a smile. He sat on the steps to the entrance of the shop just across my house. As I walked towards the shop he waved at me. He seems to always remember me, because I have made it a point to know him and remember his name. I greeted him and began with just small talk. I tried to imagine myself in his shoes with no home, just the streets when on days like today it's pouring rain and cold.

I ran inside the shop to get him something warm to drink and came back and handed him the drink. We began to talk again and I asked him questions about himself and how/why he came to Jeffreys Bay. His expression/countenance changed as he realized someone was really interested in getting to know him and not just giving him a handout and walking away.

After speaking for a few minutes he gave me a big smile and said, "thank you for this." I think I saw the face of Jesus. A smile. So simple, but yet is rarely seen in the face of a boy that lives on the street with no home. Day after day his life is begging for food, sleeping on the streets no matter what the weather is like and living with the memories of the home he left 5 years ago or the family that didn't care for him. He's so easily judged and walked past, receiving condemnation from people that think if he really wanted to, he could be off the streets, find a job and live in a shack. All that could be so true, but if you took time to listen to his story of pain, neglect, abuse and poverty the answer isn't that simple.

He's trapped in a cycle of lies and strongholds. Surrounded by people his whole life that have told him, he's a failure and unable to do anything in life. The answer isn't to simple. He's in need of a Perfect Heavenly Father to take him as he is and heal his broken spirit and the Mighty Deliverer to set him free from the spirits and lies he's lived with. Jesus could appear to him cloud and do all this, but it's not most likely. He gave us that command. Love each other as I have loved you.

This week the Lord has been changing my heart, and opening my eyes. We did a practical exercise in LXP this past week with how to speak to complete strangers. Simply making small talk, but being open and discerning to how the Spirit of the Lord might lead us in conversation. That day we had to go out and actually practice it, so my partner Bukie and I set out on a mission to get to know people of all races- white, colored and black. It was such a great experience and I was forever changed by this practical exercise of being aware and intentional with the people around me every day and that I interact with where ever I go. I've chosen to no longer leave with conversation with a person at, "Hello! How are you?" But to engage and get to know each person a little more. Since that decision I am so surprised at the conversations I've had with people and how open people really are if only you take time and one step further to get to know them. Each person has a story, each person is in need of the love of the Savior and it's our privilege to be the tangible hands of Jesus.

I challenge you to no longer look at the person at the restaurant as just your waiter, but a person with a story and a heart in need of Jesus.

I challenge you to talk to the person you see every day, but only casually greet.

This isn't something new or strange. It's a command from Jesus Christ Himself, I think it's about time we take it seriously and make it our lifestyle.

Beat The Drum

Its a chilly and windy day in Jeffreys Bay. The waves are increasingly rising up on the sand, evidence that the Bilabong Pro Surf competition is only a week away. People are walking around bundled up in scarfs and caps, while others are out on the water in wet suits catching the waves- its winter in Jeffreys Bay!

I am now hidden in little cafe right off the beach on a Saturday afternoon after a full morning of 8am yard work with my family(my lxp team) at the house. We spent the whole morning working together-raking, trimming, weeding, anything and everything to clean! This past week has been a nice slower week as the whole team came back together after a two week holiday, everyone going to their own homes-resting and reflecting. I spent my holiday with one of my teammates-Khanyo. I went home with her to a small town called Morgans Bay in the Eastern Cape. It was an adventure of a lifetime! I loved every minute of it! From killing chickens, to bathing in a basin of 2 inches of water, having no running water in the house, not speaking to a white person for a week, learning to speak more Xhosa, and really becoming part of Khanyo's family, it was time I will never forget! The Lord taught me so much and I could see every step of the way that He is preparing for what He has for me in the future.

This past week has been a time of regrouping and reflecting on what we learned as we spent time back home. We shared our stories of challenges, victories and struggles and we looked back over the past 5 months and reflecting on what we learned and how the Lord has changed us.

Currently, things are quite busy as we start to prepare for our biggest project in LXP- which is: BEAT THE DRUM (BtD). A Aids Awareness Campaign that was originally started by Bruce Wilkison. He began the campaign in 2004 with thousands of volunteers mostly people coming from the states. It was at that time that Pastor George, the leader of LXP saw the need for a discipleship and leadership program in Africa. Most the people helping with the campaign were Americans, the need for Africans to rise up was hugely needed and God really placed that burden on Pastor George's heart and that led him to start LXP.

On the 22nd of July we will be traveling to Durban- a days drive away for a week of training and preparation. We will be working with some other African teams and also a group of Americans. The BEAT THE DRUM campaign is based on the Beat The Drum movie, about a boy that tries to uncover the lies of HIV/AIDS and save his village from the "killer"(AIDS) among them. BtD has gotten smaller over the years, since Bruce is no longer a part, and the campaign is now headed by my leaders George Mwanza and his wife Michele. But still today it remains extremely effective and it's effects are long lasting. And I've also had previous experience with BtD when I was in South Africa in 2008.

Like I said previously after a week of training we will then travel to the Transkai area to start the project. The first day we will be showing the movie in the schools and then the rest of the week will continue with a pair of volunteers in each classroom teaching the curriculum. The materials start with values, uncovering the lies of HIV/AIDS, abstinence, God's plan in sex and everything coming together in sharing God's plan for their lives and His love for each one of them. Finally, the last day is an opportunity for for the students to choose to be HIV tested.
The whole project with training, traveling and the campaign will run July 22- August 8. I am so excited to see the lives Jesus is going to change and draw to Himself and out of the lies of the enemy.
The transkai area is the deep rural Xhosa areas. A place of of deep traditions and culture. Which also means a lot of witchcraft, strongholds and a great need for the Light and Blood of Jesus.


-Please join me in praying for the students my team and I will will be ministering and teaching in the schools. Pray for a great thirst and hunger for the truth-Jesus Christ.

-Pray that the works and plans of the enemy will be completely demolished and that the lies that they believe will be exposed and the truth and love of Jesus Christ seen by all!

-Pray the Lord grants us favor with the principles and teachers in the schools.

-Also, please pray that I would be bold and courageous as I lead a team of volunteers and also teach in the classroom.

I am excited to come back and testify of the lives changed and power of Christ that I will see in Transkai.

Blessings to you my dear Brother and Sisters!

He hears their cries

Abused. Neglected. The outcasts of society. These are the kind of children that came to camp this last weekend in Jeffreys Bay. Yet, I saw something different in these children then from how the world sees them.


Restoration. Acceptance. Adoption. The sons and daughters of the Most High King. The ones Jesus promises:
He raises the poor from the dust
and lifts the needy from the ash heap;
he seats them with princes
and has them inherit a throne of honor. 1 Samuel 2:8



This past weekend my LXP team and I ran a camp for 35 kids from a special school with kids with behavioral problems and abusive homes. I didn't know what to except, I prepared myself for naughty kids what would need lots of discipline. But the more I prayed for these kids, the Holy Spirit told me these children just needed love, not more rules. For three days before the camp started we woke up at 5am as a team and spent time praying and fasting for the children. The Lord began to grow my faith and acceptation for the camp and what He wanted to do in these kids hearts and life's.

It seems impossible to put into words what the Holy Spirit did this weekend.

As the kids arrived on Friday evening I could see and sense their deep brokenness, but also their walls were highly built up around their hearts for protection. They didn't know acceptance or unconditional love. That night we had an altar call and many went forward, but as I prayed with the girls I could see they didn't understand what they were doing, there were walls built up and confusion in their minds. I pleaded with the Lord to tear down every stronghold, wall and curse in their lives.


The next morning the kids were up early and ready for the day, as the worship began I knew there was something different about these kids. These were the brokenhearted, orphaned, and abused that Jesus wanted to use. I cried as I listened to these students sing out their brokenness and pain. Jesus heard their voices.

"He will respond to the prayer of the destitute;
he will not despise their plea." Psalm 102:17

"Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble,
and he saved them from their distress.

He brought them out of darkness and the deepest gloom
and broke away their chains." Psalm 107:13-14


That afternoon the girls and boys separated and my teammates decided to share their stories/testimonies of where God has brought them from. The Holy Spirit was very present as my teammates shared their pain and now victory in Jesus, the girls were silent and listened intently and then one by one the students opened up and shared their own stories. Never in my life have I seen such pain, never have I known such brokenness firsthand. Though the girls spoke in Xhosa, I could pick up some pieces and the Holy Spirit continued to impress on me what was being shared the the burden grew heavier in my spirit.

The girls shared unimaginable pain. Rape. One by one. The stories almost the same. Rape by cousin. Rape by father. Gang raped. Neglected by their parents with no where to go. Paid R20= $3 for sex. HIV/AIDS. It was more then I could imagine.

I sat with my teammates listening, every eye filled with tears as we tried to somehow grasp the pain of these young girls. My thoughts went back to the morning during worship and how I felt God wanted to use these precious souls so powerfully in His kingdom. These are the ones Jesus promises to rescue and secure justice for. His beloved daughters.

"Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless;
maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed.

Rescue the weak and needy;
deliver them from the hand of the wicked." Psalm 82:3-4


He will not ignore their cries or forge them. This was the breakthrough I had been pleading with the Lord for. This was the first step in healing- transparency and honesty. We spent the next hour counseling and praying for them. It is not by strength or by might, but only by the Holy Spirit that I could minister to them. I wish I could say their lives are all better and their is a happy ending, but the reality is they are going to the same situations and homes.

This is the time my faith and trust in Jesus is truly tested. Every part of me wanted to take every girl as my own, open a home for them, and take them to be safe from any harm or pain. But I knew that I had to trust Jesus, because He promises:

"Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6

He is the Father to the fatherless and He will not leave them. I praise God that He gave me the opportunity to be part of these precious souls life's and I choose to trust Him no matter, because He won't let them go.

The kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these

On Wednesday morning the Lord took me on an unexcepted journey to Lesotho. I had just finished wtih a five day youth camp here in Jbay that was so powerful, life changing, but also emotionally and spiritually draining. But now I found myself volunteering to be one of the three students to serve at a four day kids camp hidden in the beauiful African mountains of Lesotho.
On Tuesday night as I frantically handwashed my wardrobe of dirty clothes I questioned if God really was calling me to go, or if it was just my adventurous spirit agreeing, but deep down in my spirit I knew the Lord had something in store for me in Butha-Buthe, Lesotho.
Friday morning as I woke up in Butha-Buthe I had no idea what to except, but praying, "Jesus use me, may my heart be pure to serve these children." The kids started to arrive at the campsite in buses, the screams and singing voices filled the once quiet campsite(school was used for the camp). The children were beyond excited, the first kids to come were my kids for the week, the 8-10 year olds.
During camp I prayed for the kids to have an encounter with Jesus, but little did I know that I would encounter Jesus through those kids. As they started to jump off the buses and play games, tears filled my eyes. "Lord you are so faithful,' I prayed, 'this is what I've dreamed about for years and now it's my reality." Words seem to fall short to describe what happened those 4 days at camp, but I pray you will catch a glimpse.
Here is my journal entry from my time in Lesotho:

Yesterday I held an orphan in my arms. Yesterday I looked into the eyes of a little boy that knows not the love of a Mom or Dad. Yesterday I listened to Ntimane share the pain of hunger, poverty and the lie she's believed, that God doesn't like poor people. I heard the lies and fears they have believed in all these years. I saw the despair and sadness in the eyes of a little boy Neo who lost almost every person to care for him and doesn't know where he will live now. I prayed over a 12 year old orphan girl that lives with her older abusive brother.
I have seen Jesus. Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.
One sunday morning during worship I knelt before the Lord with my hands raised, I opened my eyes to find my little ones surrounding me on their knees with their hands raised praying. They KNOW Jesus.
Pure.
Undefiled.
I watched their faces as they earnestly prayed with tightly closed eyes, their lips moving quickly, and though I couldn't understand their language I could hear the plea in their voice. Jesus is their only hope. Orphaned. Hungry. Poor.
They know Jesus. He is their sustainer.
The children went on a outreach to the nearbye village and went door to door speaking and praying with people. Their faith astounded me. They laid hands on a small boy that had been sick for 3 months and asked for healing, when they arrived back at camp they testified to everyone that he had been healed. They didnt even doubt. Though there was no evidence of healing in the littl boy they asked Jesus to heal him, and believed He did.
"Jesus said, 'Let the little chilren come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." Matthew 19:14

"Jesus said,'I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, becasue you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children."
Matthew 11:25

"Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God." Matthew 5:8

I am not worthy and have done nothing to deserve the unexplainable blessing of knowing these little ones. I have seen Jesus. My heart has been broken for what breaks His.
I will never forget the faces of my children. The eyes of Ntimane when she told me she would go a week without food and has no clothes.

Matthew 25: 31-46
"When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his throne in heavenly glory. All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.

"Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'

"Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'

"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'

"Then he will say to those on his left, 'Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.'

"They also will answer, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?'

"He will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.'

"Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life."

This passage of scripture was not written so it would sound nice when we talk about the poor and orphaned. It was not written to be a feel good story for missionaries. It was written talking about final judgment.
Jesus says that when I look past the hungry man on the street, I ignore Jesus Himself. He says that when I choose to do my own things instead of visitng the sick lady across the street, I am choosing myself instead of Jesus. When I walk past the stranger on the street and refuse to stop and listen, but quickly condemn his begging, I am actually slapping Jesus in the face. He says the way I treat the people I encounter every day, is the way I treat Jesus Himelf.
Its easy to rationalize everything. The man isn't really homeless we tell ourselves, that man in prison is dangerous and it's not really my gifting to minister to "those kind of people."
But Jesus' words echo, 'I was in prison you did not look after me...'
I cant give away my hard earned money we tell ourselves, I am poor myself and only make minimum wage.
But Jesus' words echo, 'I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink.'

"Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me."

In the words of Brooke Fraser:

Now that I have seen, I am responsible
Faith without deeds is dead
Now that I have held you in my own arms, I cannot let go till you are

Brokeness

I want to first start off by apologizing to all my friends, supporters and family for the long time gap in my blog posts. Life here in South Africa, is jammed pack and by the end of the day I have little engery to write:) I have so much to tell,so I will try to let you in on as much as I can about what God is doing in my life and here in jbay.

Many people ask me what an average day in LXP looks like. Well, there is no average or normal day in LXP:) It's africa! Most days we start with worhip at 9am and then have our teachings by Pastor George Mwanza. The afternoon times really vary with what we do. Some afternoons are more teachings and others are ministry times with the DOGS(Disciples of God).
DOGS is our primary ministry- it was started by George and Michele Mwanza my leaders in LXP and is a youth program on Thursday afternoons. The kids come dance, sing, hang out, worship, have small group time and prayer. I lead my own small group, and have about fourteen 8th graders. It has been a very good and challenging experience. This last week, the Holy Spirit really spoke. I really sensed the Holy Spirit telling me that I was suppose to share with the kids the salvation message instead of diving deeper, they needed to know what a relationship with Jesus Christ was. The Holy Spirit totally took over, I didn't use the material I had, but let Him led. I trust the Lord planted seeds in their hearts as they listened to the story of the cross. These kids come from so many different home circumstances. Neglect,abuse, achocol. They face struggles every day; sexual relationships, crime, drugs, achocol, cheating, failure at school, poverty, and very unstable homes.
The Lord has contiuned to show me how He wants to use these students to bring revival to Jeffreys Bay. Brokeness is the beginning of revival. In these students brokeness may Jesus bring revival to their lives and let it flow into their community.
I must share with you what is so heavy on my heart. Last night we had a all night youth event at the center for the DOGS. While I was there one of the leaders in the DOGS spoke about the danger in the community tonight. Men from Nigeria had come in and are in Jeffreys Bay. They were going to schools, and around the community searching for young girls to take back to Nigeria to use for sex slaves. I felt my heart quicken and my spirit start praying. Jeffreys Bay? My kids? This injustice has been heavily on my heart for months, but never has it been so close. Right here where I live in this small community men are walking around taking girls as their slaves. Lord, bring justice to these men I pray. May His blood cover each girl in this community. Please brothers and sisters pray. This is happening. It's a reality. It's not just something you see on tv or movies, its happening. Today.

Please pray for the students in the DOGS as well. Pray their hearts would have a thirst and hunger for Jesus and that the desires of this world and evil would be gone. Pray for divine protection over them emotionally, physically and spiritually.

Hidden in Christ

New life

Hello all my dear prayer warriors, friends and family!

I arrived safely in Jeffreys Bay on Sunday evening. Miracle after miracle brought me here, with all my tight connections, I never missed a flight and had all my luggage when I arrived. He is so good!
Right away on Monday morning I was able to go to Ithemba the afterschool program I worked at last year and see the dear women I worked with and all my kids:) It was beautiful. I cant explain the feeling of having 20 kids run up to you yelling your name and almost tackling you to the floor with hugs. My heart was filled to the brim.
The past couple days have been filled with sessions at a local church called Deo Doxa with workshops in the afternooons and a sesions at night. It is group of a couple hundred students from various ministries coming together to be filled up and sent out again. It has been a huge blessing, I am just soaking it up and letting God take it all into my heart and NOT just my head.
Lxp has had a slow start as we have been waiting for the remaining students to arrive. Currently there are 6 girls and a guy. But a few more students will be coming this weekend. I have learned SO much already. Quite a different experience then last year. Living in a house of Africans is a new experience and I am learning, be challenged and it's also exciting.
Thank you so much for all your prayers, I know that I am completely covered in your prayers, and that makes all the difference.

Please pray for:
Wisdom and patience as I try to learn the Xhosa language

Unity in the house, as we learn culture differences and learn how to be a family and body of Christ.

Focus for myself- as I am in the same town as last year, but in different circumstances and learning how to surrender memeories and exceptations and walk by faith.

Learning,
-Ellen

My New Address

Here is my address that I will be able to receive letters and packages at!

The Leadership Experience
Ellen Amdahl
P.O. Box 1015
Jeffreys Bay, Republic of South Africa
6330

Learning to Trust

This morning I woke up with feelings I had never expected. Tears filled my eyes and an ache swelled in my heart. This was the day I had been waiting for, for SO long. But now Africa never felt so far away. Due to the weather conditions I am no longer able to fly out today, but now will have to wait until Saturday to fly out.


It was a twist that was so unexpected I didn’t know how to process it all. I kept thinking to myself, “it shouldn’t be a big deal right? Its only three more days?” But in my heart that’s not what it felt like, it felt like maybe I would never get back. That all the months of waiting would be in vain. Jesus then spoke so clear to my heart, “Put your trust in ME, not Africa.” I have surrendered Africa and the people I love there so much into Jesus’ hands countless times, that has been something He continues to teach me. And I realized this was another one of those moments to say, “Jesus, my hope is not in Africa, the people, my ministry or my passion to be there, my hope lies in You ALONE.”

“Why are you so downcast, O my soul? Why are you so disturbed within me?

Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.” – Psalm 42:5

I could never doubt the faithfulness and goodness of my Savior; He has led me so far. He has blessed me beyond measure. On days like today when my heart aches and I don’t understand, I place my trust in Jesus, because HE knows better than I.

“But those who hope IN the Lord will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. – Isaiah 40:31

Today I choose to place my trust in Jesus. What about you?

This life is not my own

One month from today I will be flying across the Atlantic Ocean to South Africa. Its a strange mix of emotions. This is what I've been preparing for, for months and now the time is almost here. Its a battle between my flesh and spirit. I long to be back in Jeffreys Bay, but my heart aches at the thought of leaving my family for nine months. During these times a quote by Oswald Chambers comes to my mind:

" If you stayed home when God told you to go,because you wre so concerned about your own people there, then you actually robbed them of the teaching of Jesus Christ Himself."

I am learning to walk by faith. Its often said amongest christians, but it's another thing when you really have to do it. Walk by faith. Jesus knows my questions, sadness and pain, He doesnt' overlook that, but when I gave my life to Jesus this is what asked of me. My whole life. The cost of following Jesus is high and I would want it no other way. Jesus knew that people throughout the ages would struggle with this very thing: leaving home and family. In Luke he says

," If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father or mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters-yes, even his own life-he cannot be my disciple. And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple." - Luke 14:26-17

Jesus wants me to give up everything. At first this verse seems cruel,doesn't Jesus command us to love our neighbor as ourselves? Yes, He does. But before He gives that command He says, love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength.
If we are truly to love others, we must first love Jesus Christ. Jesus is to be our first love. My first love.

I want to forsake everything for the sake of the gospel. Jesus gave up everything to me. While I was his enemy Jesus sacrified his very life.
"Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of your evil behavior."- Col 1:21
I spat in his face, I betrayed him, I cheated him and buried his grace, but yet he died for me. He knew all along that many would chose to deny Him, but he still died. How selfish of me if I was to hang onto my life as if its my own.

"But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ." Phil 3:7

Everything compared to Christ is rubbish. I can surrender my family,friends, and home to the Lord, because I can trust Him. He promises to live is Christ, but to die is gain.

"For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain."- Phil 1:21

This life is not my own. It is all for Him. So, as I prepare to embark on the next season of life, I walk by faith, because He who called me is faithful.