"Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. " - Romans 8:1
This scripture has always been one of my favorites, but this year I've found myself clinging to this promise like never before. I've come to know myself a lot this year, and what I've found out is, is if I want to get to know myself , I just need to spend time in Jesus' presence. You see there's a lot of talk about self-esteem, self-image and identity, but I had to ask myself where I am going for my self worth? Who or what am I defining myself by? I don't normally struggle with worrying about the future, but I find myself often worrying about the past. Sounds silly. Pointless. Why worry about things that have already happened? But I do. I think about my mistakes. I think about things I've said that I shouldn't of said. I think about relationships that I should of invested more time and effort in, but didn't. I think about time that I have wasted on Facebook, that I could of spent doing something more beneficial. I think of times I should of prayed more or had just a little more faith. To sum it up I struggle with guilt about my past sins and mistakes.
So I have started to ask myself am I going to let my past define me? Am I going to let my failures define all that God wants to do in and through me? Or am I going to use what I see as failures be a testimony of God's abundant grace and redemption. I can sit in self-pity and shame and dwell in the past, but where is the glory going? No where. Or I can ask God to give me eyes to see not my shortcomings or mistakes, but to see His strong arm reaching down with His grace and mercy and saving me once again from my sin. I can choose every day to not wear a mask of perfection or "having it all together", so that Jesus can receive the glory for my weaknesses. Because in my weaknesses His grace is all sufficient.
In Him there is no failure.
Only forgiveness.
In Him there is no condemnation.
Only love.
Is it easy? No, it hasn't been easy. But it's a journey with my Jesus that I am adventuring on. Some days it seems that every memory of my past mistakes floods my mind, but that is when I decide to choose to stand on the promises of my Heavenly Father.
I am redeemed.
I am a new creation.
I was bought at a price.
Nothing can separate me from His love.
Satan would love to paralyze me in the "what if I hadn't s" , but Jesus says in His word:
"Forget the former things;
do not dwell on the past.
See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? " -Isaiah 43:18-19a
That is good news to this heart! Now its up to me, I am choosing to cling to these promises of God. I am choosing to let God use my brokenness and sin to be a testimony of who He can use. I don't have it all together, but praise the Lord that I serve a Heavenly Father that is so full of grace and mercy that will never end.
