He hears their cries

Abused. Neglected. The outcasts of society. These are the kind of children that came to camp this last weekend in Jeffreys Bay. Yet, I saw something different in these children then from how the world sees them.


Restoration. Acceptance. Adoption. The sons and daughters of the Most High King. The ones Jesus promises:
He raises the poor from the dust
and lifts the needy from the ash heap;
he seats them with princes
and has them inherit a throne of honor. 1 Samuel 2:8



This past weekend my LXP team and I ran a camp for 35 kids from a special school with kids with behavioral problems and abusive homes. I didn't know what to except, I prepared myself for naughty kids what would need lots of discipline. But the more I prayed for these kids, the Holy Spirit told me these children just needed love, not more rules. For three days before the camp started we woke up at 5am as a team and spent time praying and fasting for the children. The Lord began to grow my faith and acceptation for the camp and what He wanted to do in these kids hearts and life's.

It seems impossible to put into words what the Holy Spirit did this weekend.

As the kids arrived on Friday evening I could see and sense their deep brokenness, but also their walls were highly built up around their hearts for protection. They didn't know acceptance or unconditional love. That night we had an altar call and many went forward, but as I prayed with the girls I could see they didn't understand what they were doing, there were walls built up and confusion in their minds. I pleaded with the Lord to tear down every stronghold, wall and curse in their lives.


The next morning the kids were up early and ready for the day, as the worship began I knew there was something different about these kids. These were the brokenhearted, orphaned, and abused that Jesus wanted to use. I cried as I listened to these students sing out their brokenness and pain. Jesus heard their voices.

"He will respond to the prayer of the destitute;
he will not despise their plea." Psalm 102:17

"Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble,
and he saved them from their distress.

He brought them out of darkness and the deepest gloom
and broke away their chains." Psalm 107:13-14


That afternoon the girls and boys separated and my teammates decided to share their stories/testimonies of where God has brought them from. The Holy Spirit was very present as my teammates shared their pain and now victory in Jesus, the girls were silent and listened intently and then one by one the students opened up and shared their own stories. Never in my life have I seen such pain, never have I known such brokenness firsthand. Though the girls spoke in Xhosa, I could pick up some pieces and the Holy Spirit continued to impress on me what was being shared the the burden grew heavier in my spirit.

The girls shared unimaginable pain. Rape. One by one. The stories almost the same. Rape by cousin. Rape by father. Gang raped. Neglected by their parents with no where to go. Paid R20= $3 for sex. HIV/AIDS. It was more then I could imagine.

I sat with my teammates listening, every eye filled with tears as we tried to somehow grasp the pain of these young girls. My thoughts went back to the morning during worship and how I felt God wanted to use these precious souls so powerfully in His kingdom. These are the ones Jesus promises to rescue and secure justice for. His beloved daughters.

"Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless;
maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed.

Rescue the weak and needy;
deliver them from the hand of the wicked." Psalm 82:3-4


He will not ignore their cries or forge them. This was the breakthrough I had been pleading with the Lord for. This was the first step in healing- transparency and honesty. We spent the next hour counseling and praying for them. It is not by strength or by might, but only by the Holy Spirit that I could minister to them. I wish I could say their lives are all better and their is a happy ending, but the reality is they are going to the same situations and homes.

This is the time my faith and trust in Jesus is truly tested. Every part of me wanted to take every girl as my own, open a home for them, and take them to be safe from any harm or pain. But I knew that I had to trust Jesus, because He promises:

"Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6

He is the Father to the fatherless and He will not leave them. I praise God that He gave me the opportunity to be part of these precious souls life's and I choose to trust Him no matter, because He won't let them go.

The kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these

On Wednesday morning the Lord took me on an unexcepted journey to Lesotho. I had just finished wtih a five day youth camp here in Jbay that was so powerful, life changing, but also emotionally and spiritually draining. But now I found myself volunteering to be one of the three students to serve at a four day kids camp hidden in the beauiful African mountains of Lesotho.
On Tuesday night as I frantically handwashed my wardrobe of dirty clothes I questioned if God really was calling me to go, or if it was just my adventurous spirit agreeing, but deep down in my spirit I knew the Lord had something in store for me in Butha-Buthe, Lesotho.
Friday morning as I woke up in Butha-Buthe I had no idea what to except, but praying, "Jesus use me, may my heart be pure to serve these children." The kids started to arrive at the campsite in buses, the screams and singing voices filled the once quiet campsite(school was used for the camp). The children were beyond excited, the first kids to come were my kids for the week, the 8-10 year olds.
During camp I prayed for the kids to have an encounter with Jesus, but little did I know that I would encounter Jesus through those kids. As they started to jump off the buses and play games, tears filled my eyes. "Lord you are so faithful,' I prayed, 'this is what I've dreamed about for years and now it's my reality." Words seem to fall short to describe what happened those 4 days at camp, but I pray you will catch a glimpse.
Here is my journal entry from my time in Lesotho:

Yesterday I held an orphan in my arms. Yesterday I looked into the eyes of a little boy that knows not the love of a Mom or Dad. Yesterday I listened to Ntimane share the pain of hunger, poverty and the lie she's believed, that God doesn't like poor people. I heard the lies and fears they have believed in all these years. I saw the despair and sadness in the eyes of a little boy Neo who lost almost every person to care for him and doesn't know where he will live now. I prayed over a 12 year old orphan girl that lives with her older abusive brother.
I have seen Jesus. Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.
One sunday morning during worship I knelt before the Lord with my hands raised, I opened my eyes to find my little ones surrounding me on their knees with their hands raised praying. They KNOW Jesus.
Pure.
Undefiled.
I watched their faces as they earnestly prayed with tightly closed eyes, their lips moving quickly, and though I couldn't understand their language I could hear the plea in their voice. Jesus is their only hope. Orphaned. Hungry. Poor.
They know Jesus. He is their sustainer.
The children went on a outreach to the nearbye village and went door to door speaking and praying with people. Their faith astounded me. They laid hands on a small boy that had been sick for 3 months and asked for healing, when they arrived back at camp they testified to everyone that he had been healed. They didnt even doubt. Though there was no evidence of healing in the littl boy they asked Jesus to heal him, and believed He did.
"Jesus said, 'Let the little chilren come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." Matthew 19:14

"Jesus said,'I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, becasue you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children."
Matthew 11:25

"Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God." Matthew 5:8

I am not worthy and have done nothing to deserve the unexplainable blessing of knowing these little ones. I have seen Jesus. My heart has been broken for what breaks His.
I will never forget the faces of my children. The eyes of Ntimane when she told me she would go a week without food and has no clothes.

Matthew 25: 31-46
"When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his throne in heavenly glory. All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.

"Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'

"Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'

"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'

"Then he will say to those on his left, 'Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.'

"They also will answer, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?'

"He will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.'

"Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life."

This passage of scripture was not written so it would sound nice when we talk about the poor and orphaned. It was not written to be a feel good story for missionaries. It was written talking about final judgment.
Jesus says that when I look past the hungry man on the street, I ignore Jesus Himself. He says that when I choose to do my own things instead of visitng the sick lady across the street, I am choosing myself instead of Jesus. When I walk past the stranger on the street and refuse to stop and listen, but quickly condemn his begging, I am actually slapping Jesus in the face. He says the way I treat the people I encounter every day, is the way I treat Jesus Himelf.
Its easy to rationalize everything. The man isn't really homeless we tell ourselves, that man in prison is dangerous and it's not really my gifting to minister to "those kind of people."
But Jesus' words echo, 'I was in prison you did not look after me...'
I cant give away my hard earned money we tell ourselves, I am poor myself and only make minimum wage.
But Jesus' words echo, 'I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink.'

"Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me."

In the words of Brooke Fraser:

Now that I have seen, I am responsible
Faith without deeds is dead
Now that I have held you in my own arms, I cannot let go till you are

Brokeness

I want to first start off by apologizing to all my friends, supporters and family for the long time gap in my blog posts. Life here in South Africa, is jammed pack and by the end of the day I have little engery to write:) I have so much to tell,so I will try to let you in on as much as I can about what God is doing in my life and here in jbay.

Many people ask me what an average day in LXP looks like. Well, there is no average or normal day in LXP:) It's africa! Most days we start with worhip at 9am and then have our teachings by Pastor George Mwanza. The afternoon times really vary with what we do. Some afternoons are more teachings and others are ministry times with the DOGS(Disciples of God).
DOGS is our primary ministry- it was started by George and Michele Mwanza my leaders in LXP and is a youth program on Thursday afternoons. The kids come dance, sing, hang out, worship, have small group time and prayer. I lead my own small group, and have about fourteen 8th graders. It has been a very good and challenging experience. This last week, the Holy Spirit really spoke. I really sensed the Holy Spirit telling me that I was suppose to share with the kids the salvation message instead of diving deeper, they needed to know what a relationship with Jesus Christ was. The Holy Spirit totally took over, I didn't use the material I had, but let Him led. I trust the Lord planted seeds in their hearts as they listened to the story of the cross. These kids come from so many different home circumstances. Neglect,abuse, achocol. They face struggles every day; sexual relationships, crime, drugs, achocol, cheating, failure at school, poverty, and very unstable homes.
The Lord has contiuned to show me how He wants to use these students to bring revival to Jeffreys Bay. Brokeness is the beginning of revival. In these students brokeness may Jesus bring revival to their lives and let it flow into their community.
I must share with you what is so heavy on my heart. Last night we had a all night youth event at the center for the DOGS. While I was there one of the leaders in the DOGS spoke about the danger in the community tonight. Men from Nigeria had come in and are in Jeffreys Bay. They were going to schools, and around the community searching for young girls to take back to Nigeria to use for sex slaves. I felt my heart quicken and my spirit start praying. Jeffreys Bay? My kids? This injustice has been heavily on my heart for months, but never has it been so close. Right here where I live in this small community men are walking around taking girls as their slaves. Lord, bring justice to these men I pray. May His blood cover each girl in this community. Please brothers and sisters pray. This is happening. It's a reality. It's not just something you see on tv or movies, its happening. Today.

Please pray for the students in the DOGS as well. Pray their hearts would have a thirst and hunger for Jesus and that the desires of this world and evil would be gone. Pray for divine protection over them emotionally, physically and spiritually.

Hidden in Christ

New life

Hello all my dear prayer warriors, friends and family!

I arrived safely in Jeffreys Bay on Sunday evening. Miracle after miracle brought me here, with all my tight connections, I never missed a flight and had all my luggage when I arrived. He is so good!
Right away on Monday morning I was able to go to Ithemba the afterschool program I worked at last year and see the dear women I worked with and all my kids:) It was beautiful. I cant explain the feeling of having 20 kids run up to you yelling your name and almost tackling you to the floor with hugs. My heart was filled to the brim.
The past couple days have been filled with sessions at a local church called Deo Doxa with workshops in the afternooons and a sesions at night. It is group of a couple hundred students from various ministries coming together to be filled up and sent out again. It has been a huge blessing, I am just soaking it up and letting God take it all into my heart and NOT just my head.
Lxp has had a slow start as we have been waiting for the remaining students to arrive. Currently there are 6 girls and a guy. But a few more students will be coming this weekend. I have learned SO much already. Quite a different experience then last year. Living in a house of Africans is a new experience and I am learning, be challenged and it's also exciting.
Thank you so much for all your prayers, I know that I am completely covered in your prayers, and that makes all the difference.

Please pray for:
Wisdom and patience as I try to learn the Xhosa language

Unity in the house, as we learn culture differences and learn how to be a family and body of Christ.

Focus for myself- as I am in the same town as last year, but in different circumstances and learning how to surrender memeories and exceptations and walk by faith.

Learning,
-Ellen

My New Address

Here is my address that I will be able to receive letters and packages at!

The Leadership Experience
Ellen Amdahl
P.O. Box 1015
Jeffreys Bay, Republic of South Africa
6330

Learning to Trust

This morning I woke up with feelings I had never expected. Tears filled my eyes and an ache swelled in my heart. This was the day I had been waiting for, for SO long. But now Africa never felt so far away. Due to the weather conditions I am no longer able to fly out today, but now will have to wait until Saturday to fly out.


It was a twist that was so unexpected I didn’t know how to process it all. I kept thinking to myself, “it shouldn’t be a big deal right? Its only three more days?” But in my heart that’s not what it felt like, it felt like maybe I would never get back. That all the months of waiting would be in vain. Jesus then spoke so clear to my heart, “Put your trust in ME, not Africa.” I have surrendered Africa and the people I love there so much into Jesus’ hands countless times, that has been something He continues to teach me. And I realized this was another one of those moments to say, “Jesus, my hope is not in Africa, the people, my ministry or my passion to be there, my hope lies in You ALONE.”

“Why are you so downcast, O my soul? Why are you so disturbed within me?

Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.” – Psalm 42:5

I could never doubt the faithfulness and goodness of my Savior; He has led me so far. He has blessed me beyond measure. On days like today when my heart aches and I don’t understand, I place my trust in Jesus, because HE knows better than I.

“But those who hope IN the Lord will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. – Isaiah 40:31

Today I choose to place my trust in Jesus. What about you?

This life is not my own

One month from today I will be flying across the Atlantic Ocean to South Africa. Its a strange mix of emotions. This is what I've been preparing for, for months and now the time is almost here. Its a battle between my flesh and spirit. I long to be back in Jeffreys Bay, but my heart aches at the thought of leaving my family for nine months. During these times a quote by Oswald Chambers comes to my mind:

" If you stayed home when God told you to go,because you wre so concerned about your own people there, then you actually robbed them of the teaching of Jesus Christ Himself."

I am learning to walk by faith. Its often said amongest christians, but it's another thing when you really have to do it. Walk by faith. Jesus knows my questions, sadness and pain, He doesnt' overlook that, but when I gave my life to Jesus this is what asked of me. My whole life. The cost of following Jesus is high and I would want it no other way. Jesus knew that people throughout the ages would struggle with this very thing: leaving home and family. In Luke he says

," If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father or mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters-yes, even his own life-he cannot be my disciple. And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple." - Luke 14:26-17

Jesus wants me to give up everything. At first this verse seems cruel,doesn't Jesus command us to love our neighbor as ourselves? Yes, He does. But before He gives that command He says, love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength.
If we are truly to love others, we must first love Jesus Christ. Jesus is to be our first love. My first love.

I want to forsake everything for the sake of the gospel. Jesus gave up everything to me. While I was his enemy Jesus sacrified his very life.
"Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of your evil behavior."- Col 1:21
I spat in his face, I betrayed him, I cheated him and buried his grace, but yet he died for me. He knew all along that many would chose to deny Him, but he still died. How selfish of me if I was to hang onto my life as if its my own.

"But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ." Phil 3:7

Everything compared to Christ is rubbish. I can surrender my family,friends, and home to the Lord, because I can trust Him. He promises to live is Christ, but to die is gain.

"For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain."- Phil 1:21

This life is not my own. It is all for Him. So, as I prepare to embark on the next season of life, I walk by faith, because He who called me is faithful.