I will never forget his eyes. I will never forget how he hung onto me, like a lost boy. I won’t forget how he looked at me, his face full of pain and his years of memories of his experiences flashed across his eyes as I asked him why he quit going to school.
He pretends to be so hard and rough- it’s his protection. But inside is a little boy so in need of a family, someone to love and take care of him. A 13 year old boy’s need shouldn’t be someone to take care for him. He shouldn’t be longing to go to school and be part of a family- those are the normal things he should have already.
At times he pretends not to hear, but I know he hears every word. He’ll ignore a question and ask for food, a defense mechanism to keep him from talking about the all the pain in his life, not excluding the hunger pain he feels regularly. He tells me he stays with his uncle at times, but other nights its better on the street with his friends. At home he’s beaten and left with no food, the streets are safer and he can beg for food. I can hear the anger in his voice as he says his uncle is always drinking and will beat him for no reason. His father and mother have both died, he says he doesn’t have a last name his name is Jonathan- that’s it.
A couple weeks ago some of my teammates and me were given a week project to work with the streets kids- to minister and give them food. That was three weeks ago, but my heart has been heavily burdened ever since then. Even though I have lived in Jbay for almost 2 years now, my heart was not broken over the street boys. I felt like “what can I do? How can I minister, I have nothing in common with them.” The Holy Spirit completely broke me from that attitude and mindset and one day totally broke my heart for these boys. He spoke so strongly to me that if my heart is not broken for these boys I will never minister or love them like Jesus does. Since that day things have been completely different inside of me. There is about 15 boys between the ages of 10-20 that live on the street in Jeffreys Bay. Some of them have homes, but have ran away cause of the situations at homes, others are orphans that have no one to take care and love them.
The one boy that the Holy Spirit laid and burdened my heart for was Jonathan. I have been interceding and praying for him every day asking God for a relationship with him. Whenever I would see him in town sitting on the street corner I would go and sit with him. He was always quiet and serious, never smiling and often high from glue. He would only greet and then was silent. I would ask questions and try to make conversation, but he would only look straight ahead. The Holy Spirit told me to stay. So this would happen frequently, I would sit with Jonathan in complete silence. I prayed that through his act he would know how much not only I love him, but more importantly Jesus Christ.
I try to keep the tears from spilling onto my cheeks as I sit on the porch outside my house with Jonathan- eating bread and talking. This is the moment I have been asking and pleading with God for. Jonathan came to my house looking for me- a complete miracle!
As we continue to talk, my hearts breaks even more, he doesn’t know his last name. He belongs to no one. After a while I tell him I’ll walk with him to the beach to meet the other boys, but he refuses. Its warm here on the porch and safe- the weather is getting colder and more windy- he doesn’t want to go. As he watches the acticvity at the house and all the different people talking and having fun- I can see in his eyes the longing for a family, a home, a place to belong and be safe and warm.
I wish it was that easy, that I could have him live with me and give him everything he needs- but for right now I now that’s not possible.
Eventually he agrees and we walk towards the beach. I promise him I’ll go meet his uncle later this week to see where he’s staying. As I say goodbye I ask if I can pray for him and for the first time is face lights up just a little and he agrees, taking my hand in his. After praying he puts his arm around me- I try to once again keep the tears back, as I feel the arm of a little boy that hasn’t had a hug for probably weeks or even months give me a hug and then walk away. Many people would say don’t let a street boy touch or get close to you, it’s not safe, they are bad. But as I was with Jonathan my mind was constantly on the life and ministry of Jesus. He was with the sick, poor and ”bad” people all the time. That was his life- his heart was with them. He touched them and healed them in their need.
As I walked away the tears flowed freely from my eyes, if my heart was not broken before it was now. I thanked Jesus that He was giving me the privilege of feeling a little bit of His heart. My spirit wrestled in prayer and was earnestly before God that evening, as it continues to ask God what He wants me to do. I pray I will walk in complete obedience to the Holy Spirit and what He wants me to do.
Please pray that I would be granted discerment, wisdom and love above all.
Pray for Jonathan that the Holy Spirit would deeply touch his heart and life.
